After trying everything to make things work, then realizing that it was not healthy, mentally and physically, to stay in the relationship and that it was affecting how I dealt with my children, I had to make a decision.
Even though I knew in my heart that separating from my partner was the right thing for me, I was overcome by guilt at the thought that I broke up our family. It was crippling.
I was worried about how our kids would cope with the situation, how to best deal with my ex, how to explain the situation to friends and family, and I must admit I was worried about what other people would think.
Sometimes I would get questions from my son about why I left the relationship, and whether we would get back together. I would not know how to answer such questions, and spent many sleepless nights wondering what I could have said to him. I was scared of causing lasting damage to my children.
The first step for me to overcome my guilt was to realise that the cause of my suffering was my mind;
specifically, my concepts about marriage, family and relationships. I had a lot of "pictures" around the perfect family life, such as the fairy tale adage "happily ever after".
Where did these pictures come from? When I meditated on where these concepts came from, I realised is was simply my own programming formed from what I observed my whole life.
I only knew what I had seen, and taken those pictures growing up by watching my family, TV and movies, and also the community around me. The pictures I had of a perfect couple, a perfect family life made me think that I had done a really bad thing; that I broke up my family. This was the cause of my guilt.
I learned to recognise that every single thought I ever had about marriage and family was not the reality; it was made within my mind. I had to see my life from the perspective of the Universe, and I realised that it was all simply false.
The second step was to remove these ideas and concepts from my mind.
I followed the meditation method for discarding my pictures, and naturally the guilt simply fell away. I was able to see that these pictures were not part of the True me, which had been buried deep beneath.
After these two steps, I found I was able to see that the True self is the mind of nature or the mind of the Universe; it has no regrets, and does not live with guilt.
I can accept mistakes I made, learn from them and can move forward with clarity and positivity. The True self sees the situation just as it is, without judgement, and therefore it has wisdom.
Now I feel free within my mind, and I am no longer weighed down by guilt and stress.
I can communicate so much better with people around me. I can answer all questions from my family and kids with wisdom. For that I am very grateful and hope this helps people out there, if there is anyone who struggles to move forward from being burdened by the past mistakes or guilt.
Thank you.
Elizabeth, Brisbane, QLD